How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
