and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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