this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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