so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
