girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
