"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
