At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
