I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
