Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
