I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
