I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
