ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
