More tranny stories later!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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