I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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