i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
third nipple confirmed
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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