I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
