Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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