What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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