She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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