In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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