Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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