If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
