i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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