How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
