Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
