My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
