I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
