Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
