remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
