I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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