I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
