yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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