Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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