when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
