i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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