Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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