Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
