u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
