Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
