Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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