Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize