when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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