You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
