What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
