Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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