Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm at about main and main street
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
