This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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