I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
