Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
