You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
