That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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