So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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