I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nutella sex= disaster
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
