I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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