it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
