This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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