in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Found your dick twin last night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize