I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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