the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There r osticjed everywhere
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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