Say something about gay babies.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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