He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
