dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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