dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
