you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
